Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Big Change

After a year long struggle with cervial dysplasia I have decided to take the plunge and have a hysterectomy.   This removal of an internal body part now will have a hand in shaping who I am. 

DH and I had decided before this all happened that we were content with one child and that has been our plan.  My friend Kerri made an excellent point.  There is a difference between not wanting any more children and not being able to have more children. 

Am I going to think about my missing uterus everytime I hold someone else's baby?  Am I going to long for something I will no longer be able to have even though I had already made the decision to forgo any more children?  I don't have these thoughts now.  I rather enjoy holding someone else's baby and then handing the baby back when he/she is upset.  I enjoy being able to sleep at night and take a nap with my son during the day. 

I guess these are all things I will go over in my mind.  The whole thing is such a finality.  An end.  That's it.

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