After a year long struggle with cervial dysplasia I have decided to take the plunge and have a hysterectomy. This removal of an internal body part now will have a hand in shaping who I am.
DH and I had decided before this all happened that we were content with one child and that has been our plan. My friend Kerri made an excellent point. There is a difference between not wanting any more children and not being able to have more children.
Am I going to think about my missing uterus everytime I hold someone else's baby? Am I going to long for something I will no longer be able to have even though I had already made the decision to forgo any more children? I don't have these thoughts now. I rather enjoy holding someone else's baby and then handing the baby back when he/she is upset. I enjoy being able to sleep at night and take a nap with my son during the day.
I guess these are all things I will go over in my mind. The whole thing is such a finality. An end. That's it.
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