Yes, when I say that phrase I feel old, but the reality is I'm only 26 and would therefore not be classified by old. But the times, they are a changing, and it's been very shocking lately at how much they are changing.
I recently read an article, which was brought to my attention by a friend, that said there is a group of 17 girls at a high school in Massachusetts who are pregnant. Apparently, it is a smaller town in a fairly remote area of Massachusetts. The a group of girls at the high school made a pack to get pregnant and raise their children together. The school has reported administering some 150 pregnancy tests, and when the girls who weren't pregnant found out, they were sad! It is rumored that a 24 year old homeless man is the father of some of these illegitimate children.
When I was in high school it was fairly embarrassing to be a pregnant teenager. I felt sympathetic for the girls, but I definitely did not want to be in their shoes. I have to admit, I was sexually active, but took measures to not get pregnant.
The article reported that the school and the parents of the children in attendance are arguing over whether or not to provide free birth control without parental consent. Hello, did you not see the root of the problem - these girls made a pack! The school would have to shove the birth control down the girls' throats. Simply handing it out would not have prevented the problem.
One girl, who had had a baby in her freshman year, speculated that these pact girls wanted a child who would love them unconditionally. This is such a misconception. Pregnancy, is usually not fun! When you have the baby, you are the one who provides the unconditional love, especially when the child is screaming and you can't figure out why, when the child is puking or pooping on you, when your breast provide the worst pain ever, and when you are so tired you fall asleep while standing up - just to name a few.
My speculation is that, there are some issues these girls have at home. It may not be all of them, because peer pressure is murder. Now, I've heard before, "Don't blame the parents," but come on. You are going to expect your teenage daughter to be responsible for her child, but you yourself aren't going to take responsibility for a possible lack of parental control or guidance. Did you speak to your daughter about sex? Did you instill values, morals, and guidelines for how your child should live their life? Think about it and get back to your daughter!
I recently read another article that touched on the problem of teenagers taking nude photos of themselves with their cell phones and sending the photos to other kids versus the notes that my generation sent around asking, "Does he like me? Will you ask him?" I guess, being self conscious of your body at that age has gone out the window!
These articles scare me. They scare me because my son is only 18 months old, and if this is what teenagers are doing now, I can only imagine what issues I will deal with when my son is a teenager!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Army Wives
Army Wives is one of my favorite shows on at this point in time. I have watched the show since the first episode aired. It is one of the only shows that my husband doesn't bach at when it comes on. He says, "Oh," and moves on with what he is doing. Now if I were watching say The Hills, then he'd say something like, "I can't believe you watch that stupid show," or something equal to that with maybe a bit more profanity. He's so sweet...
I like the show because of the premise and the casting. I am able to relate to the characters on a personal level. I'm sure there are many people out there that watch the show and love it as much as I do. And there are probably thousands of people out there who have some of the same feelings I have when I watch. I lived through what the women on the show are living through. My situation was a bit different, but the feelings of worry, anxiety, anger, and fear are the same no less. The writer has done a fantastic job of capturing these elements.
When I was 21, I married my husband 3 days after he was deployed to Iraq (mind you, he was not in Iraq, but had to go through training at Fort Carson). I drove out to see him and we were married at the court house, with 2 other soldiers I did not know very well as our witnesses. Standing there in front of the judging facing my husband while saying our vows, our hands interlocked, it seemed that the only two people in the whole world were him and I. The judge, our witnesses, and the surroundings of the court room were hazy, but my husband and I were clear as day. I was dressed in a cream colored nike sweatshirt with jeans, and I hadn't had a shower yet that day, but none of that matter, because I was marrying the man I loved and who loved and accepted me for who I was. Cheesy, I know, but entirely true.
While he was gone, I forgot how to fall asleep. I would go to Wal-mart a 2 in the morning because I couldn't sleep and I had to get out of my apartment. Wal-mart is deserted at 2 in the morning, which was even better. I would hold the phone for hours on end willing it to ring. I was exhausted and slept during the day most of the time.
No one was allowed to come to my apartment without calling first. When that doorbell rang and I wasn't expecting it to, I would pray over and over as fast as I could, that on the other side would not be Army Chaplins coming to make my worst fears come true. The rest of the day I would be exhausted from the mountain of anxiety that plagued me for only a few seconds.
When I got a letter in the mail, everything dropped to the floor and I would rip it open and read it as fast as I could. Then I would sit in silence reflecting on the day he would come home, then read the letter again. The letter would be in my pocket or beside the bed for days.
The show picks at all these old wounds, which are 4 years old. I will carry these wounds with me for the rest of my life, but he is home for good and I will never have to live through that again. To the thousands of people who have gone through or are going through this, I understand.
Sometimes I question, why do I watch this show if it brings up old emotions. In a way it helps me to work through some of these thoughts. It is a part of my life, and while it wasn't the fondest of times, I wouldn't want to forget it for anything. On with the show.
I like the show because of the premise and the casting. I am able to relate to the characters on a personal level. I'm sure there are many people out there that watch the show and love it as much as I do. And there are probably thousands of people out there who have some of the same feelings I have when I watch. I lived through what the women on the show are living through. My situation was a bit different, but the feelings of worry, anxiety, anger, and fear are the same no less. The writer has done a fantastic job of capturing these elements.
When I was 21, I married my husband 3 days after he was deployed to Iraq (mind you, he was not in Iraq, but had to go through training at Fort Carson). I drove out to see him and we were married at the court house, with 2 other soldiers I did not know very well as our witnesses. Standing there in front of the judging facing my husband while saying our vows, our hands interlocked, it seemed that the only two people in the whole world were him and I. The judge, our witnesses, and the surroundings of the court room were hazy, but my husband and I were clear as day. I was dressed in a cream colored nike sweatshirt with jeans, and I hadn't had a shower yet that day, but none of that matter, because I was marrying the man I loved and who loved and accepted me for who I was. Cheesy, I know, but entirely true.
While he was gone, I forgot how to fall asleep. I would go to Wal-mart a 2 in the morning because I couldn't sleep and I had to get out of my apartment. Wal-mart is deserted at 2 in the morning, which was even better. I would hold the phone for hours on end willing it to ring. I was exhausted and slept during the day most of the time.
No one was allowed to come to my apartment without calling first. When that doorbell rang and I wasn't expecting it to, I would pray over and over as fast as I could, that on the other side would not be Army Chaplins coming to make my worst fears come true. The rest of the day I would be exhausted from the mountain of anxiety that plagued me for only a few seconds.
When I got a letter in the mail, everything dropped to the floor and I would rip it open and read it as fast as I could. Then I would sit in silence reflecting on the day he would come home, then read the letter again. The letter would be in my pocket or beside the bed for days.
The show picks at all these old wounds, which are 4 years old. I will carry these wounds with me for the rest of my life, but he is home for good and I will never have to live through that again. To the thousands of people who have gone through or are going through this, I understand.
Sometimes I question, why do I watch this show if it brings up old emotions. In a way it helps me to work through some of these thoughts. It is a part of my life, and while it wasn't the fondest of times, I wouldn't want to forget it for anything. On with the show.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Middle Man
Once again, I am the middle man, but this time it is between my husband and my father. My husband works for my father. On Friday, my father yelled at my husband, who thought that it was unnecessary. After my husband told me the his side of the story, I agreed that it was unnecessary. My husband was supposed to go out and help my father on Saturday, but he refused because of the incident on Friday.
So here I was, knowing that my dad needed help. He helps us a great deal. He is also not as young as he used to be and I worry that he works to hard, so I like to make sure he has help when doing large projects. But on the other hand I wanted to stand behind my husband, his feelings and his decisions.
What to do, what to do? I could encourage my husband to put aside the anger and help my dad or I could let my husband cool off. I didn't want to make the situation worse. To have and to hold, or to honor thy father. Which takes precedence? In the end, I chose to have and to hold. Once you get married, you break from your parents and join to your spouse. As much as it breaks my heart, it was the right choice. I did, however, call my parents and let them know that my husband was not coming.
Of course, tomorrow is Father's Day, so we will have to see if the anger is gone and all can be mended. We'll see....
So here I was, knowing that my dad needed help. He helps us a great deal. He is also not as young as he used to be and I worry that he works to hard, so I like to make sure he has help when doing large projects. But on the other hand I wanted to stand behind my husband, his feelings and his decisions.
What to do, what to do? I could encourage my husband to put aside the anger and help my dad or I could let my husband cool off. I didn't want to make the situation worse. To have and to hold, or to honor thy father. Which takes precedence? In the end, I chose to have and to hold. Once you get married, you break from your parents and join to your spouse. As much as it breaks my heart, it was the right choice. I did, however, call my parents and let them know that my husband was not coming.
Of course, tomorrow is Father's Day, so we will have to see if the anger is gone and all can be mended. We'll see....
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Playing Roles
Daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, employee, lover, friend. Playing just one of these roles can take such a toll on the psyche. Navigating the relationship trail is often tricky and when you get stuck it can be mentally as well as physically exhausting, but when sailing along the smooth waters it can be just as rewarding.
Lately, I've been faced with a challenge unlike any I've ever experienced. My parents and my grandparents are not getting along as well as I would like. I love both of them very dearly. The both have always been very good to me. But the new challenge is that they have placed me, unknowingly in the middle of their rocky relationship, which in turn makes my relationships with them strained.
This rocky relationship between the two of them has been going on for a long time. I remember similar ruff patches when I was a child, but they both managed to leave me out of it. Now that I am an adult and our relationships have changed to more of a confidant and advice seeker/giver, it is terribly hard to see either of them so upset and angry with the other. I, of course, want to fix the problem and want them to tell each other what is bothering the other, work together and patch the relationships, which is a much larger challenge than I have energy to tackle. So for the time being, I'm seeking shelter from the storm and riding it out as long as I can.
It is not my place to judge there relationship or to judge their actions. They have much more baggage than I am aware of. Ultimately they will face their judge. I am learning many new lessons from all of this. I have to be responsible for my actions. I have to think about what another person may be thinking and how my actions my effect the relationship no matter how angry I may be. Attitude changes the situation. Forgive as Jesus Christ said, 77 x's 7.
Isn't life all about navigating the relationships we have with others. What would we be if we didn't have relationships. For now, the best medicine is to keep loving and weather the storm.
Lately, I've been faced with a challenge unlike any I've ever experienced. My parents and my grandparents are not getting along as well as I would like. I love both of them very dearly. The both have always been very good to me. But the new challenge is that they have placed me, unknowingly in the middle of their rocky relationship, which in turn makes my relationships with them strained.
This rocky relationship between the two of them has been going on for a long time. I remember similar ruff patches when I was a child, but they both managed to leave me out of it. Now that I am an adult and our relationships have changed to more of a confidant and advice seeker/giver, it is terribly hard to see either of them so upset and angry with the other. I, of course, want to fix the problem and want them to tell each other what is bothering the other, work together and patch the relationships, which is a much larger challenge than I have energy to tackle. So for the time being, I'm seeking shelter from the storm and riding it out as long as I can.
It is not my place to judge there relationship or to judge their actions. They have much more baggage than I am aware of. Ultimately they will face their judge. I am learning many new lessons from all of this. I have to be responsible for my actions. I have to think about what another person may be thinking and how my actions my effect the relationship no matter how angry I may be. Attitude changes the situation. Forgive as Jesus Christ said, 77 x's 7.
Isn't life all about navigating the relationships we have with others. What would we be if we didn't have relationships. For now, the best medicine is to keep loving and weather the storm.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sex and The City - It's Complicated...
I tucked my little guy into bed and off I went to the 9:55 pm showing of Sex and The City on Friday evening. I can't remember the last time I went out at that hour of the evening. But it was all worth it.
Carrie finally married Mr. Big. Charlotte had a baby. Miranda and Steve worked through their marital issues, and Samantha got a dog. I have to say I was rather disappointed that Samantha didn't stay with Smith Jared. I understand that monogamy isn't her thing, but they could have worked out a relationship in which it did work. There are swingers in the world. Yes, it could have been a bit controversial, but it would have been better than a dog. Plus, with actual sex and nudity in the film, I think controversial would not be an issue.
It was a bit refreshing to see that the moral Miranda learned was that even though Steve cheated, her infraction of being physically, as well as, emotionally unavailable was just as bad.
All in all, the movie provided a good solid ending and totally worth the $8.50 ticket.
On Saturday afternoon, I managed to catch a portion of the show, Denise Richards: It's complicated. I have to say I was disappointed. In the future, while flipping channels, you can be assured I will not be stopping on that program again.
Denise was yelling at an editor of some magazine that had printed something she did not like. She was screaming about public court documents from her divorce. She also "Played the kids card." Honey, those people do not care about your kids, but if you really did, maybe you would have thought twice about all the offenses you and your now ex-husband committed against each other. Get with the program!
Carrie finally married Mr. Big. Charlotte had a baby. Miranda and Steve worked through their marital issues, and Samantha got a dog. I have to say I was rather disappointed that Samantha didn't stay with Smith Jared. I understand that monogamy isn't her thing, but they could have worked out a relationship in which it did work. There are swingers in the world. Yes, it could have been a bit controversial, but it would have been better than a dog. Plus, with actual sex and nudity in the film, I think controversial would not be an issue.
It was a bit refreshing to see that the moral Miranda learned was that even though Steve cheated, her infraction of being physically, as well as, emotionally unavailable was just as bad.
All in all, the movie provided a good solid ending and totally worth the $8.50 ticket.
On Saturday afternoon, I managed to catch a portion of the show, Denise Richards: It's complicated. I have to say I was disappointed. In the future, while flipping channels, you can be assured I will not be stopping on that program again.
Denise was yelling at an editor of some magazine that had printed something she did not like. She was screaming about public court documents from her divorce. She also "Played the kids card." Honey, those people do not care about your kids, but if you really did, maybe you would have thought twice about all the offenses you and your now ex-husband committed against each other. Get with the program!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Polar Bears and Taxes
There is a commercial in which an actor, who shall remain nameless, pleads with America to help the Polar Bears, who apparently are in danger of extinction due to the effects of global warming and are in need of our money. Just a monthly donation of such and such an amount. Give me a break. I would like to know where this donated money is going. How is it dispersed and how exactly does it help the animals. If you believe that global warming is the cause of the Polar Bears population decreasing....then what are they doing with the money to reverse the effects of this global warming. I just don't buy it.
In addition, with the recession, everything is costing more. I went to the grocery store two days ago, with a menu and a list (to curb any extra buying). The groceries I collected cost $115, which will feed my family of 3 for 1 1/2 weeks. Before the first of the year this same trip would have cost me approximately $90. Don't even get me started on the cost of gas!! Sorry Polar Bears, but I gotta keep food in my child's tummy and gas in my car so I can get to work!!
Mr. Nameless Actor - how much are you donating??
I find it very interesting that another actor, who shall remain nameless, has failed to pay his taxes - on purpose. His excuse is he believes that we shouldn't have to pay taxes and belongs to a group who actively supports this thought. Please, give me a break! We all pay taxes...and if you don't you should be punished.
Now I will say that I do believe that the government wastes a lot of money on very silly things, or just plain silliness, but that doesn't excuse me or anyone else from paying taxes. He has every right to hire a good accountant to find all the tax breaks he is entitled to in order to lessen the amount he has to pay, but pay you must.
Mr. or Mrs. Judge, make him pay his taxes and then throw the book at him.
In addition, with the recession, everything is costing more. I went to the grocery store two days ago, with a menu and a list (to curb any extra buying). The groceries I collected cost $115, which will feed my family of 3 for 1 1/2 weeks. Before the first of the year this same trip would have cost me approximately $90. Don't even get me started on the cost of gas!! Sorry Polar Bears, but I gotta keep food in my child's tummy and gas in my car so I can get to work!!
Mr. Nameless Actor - how much are you donating??
I find it very interesting that another actor, who shall remain nameless, has failed to pay his taxes - on purpose. His excuse is he believes that we shouldn't have to pay taxes and belongs to a group who actively supports this thought. Please, give me a break! We all pay taxes...and if you don't you should be punished.
Now I will say that I do believe that the government wastes a lot of money on very silly things, or just plain silliness, but that doesn't excuse me or anyone else from paying taxes. He has every right to hire a good accountant to find all the tax breaks he is entitled to in order to lessen the amount he has to pay, but pay you must.
Mr. or Mrs. Judge, make him pay his taxes and then throw the book at him.
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