Army Wives

Army Wives is one of my favorite shows on at this point in time. I have watched the show since the first episode aired. It is one of the only shows that my husband doesn't bach at when it comes on. He says, "Oh," and moves on with what he is doing. Now if I were watching say The Hills, then he'd say something like, "I can't believe you watch that stupid show," or something equal to that with maybe a bit more profanity. He's so sweet...

I like the show because of the premise and the casting. I am able to relate to the characters on a personal level. I'm sure there are many people out there that watch the show and love it as much as I do. And there are probably thousands of people out there who have some of the same feelings I have when I watch. I lived through what the women on the show are living through. My situation was a bit different, but the feelings of worry, anxiety, anger, and fear are the same no less. The writer has done a fantastic job of capturing these elements.

When I was 21, I married my husband 3 days after he was deployed to Iraq (mind you, he was not in Iraq, but had to go through training at Fort Carson). I drove out to see him and we were married at the court house, with 2 other soldiers I did not know very well as our witnesses. Standing there in front of the judging facing my husband while saying our vows, our hands interlocked, it seemed that the only two people in the whole world were him and I. The judge, our witnesses, and the surroundings of the court room were hazy, but my husband and I were clear as day. I was dressed in a cream colored nike sweatshirt with jeans, and I hadn't had a shower yet that day, but none of that matter, because I was marrying the man I loved and who loved and accepted me for who I was. Cheesy, I know, but entirely true.

While he was gone, I forgot how to fall asleep. I would go to Wal-mart a 2 in the morning because I couldn't sleep and I had to get out of my apartment. Wal-mart is deserted at 2 in the morning, which was even better. I would hold the phone for hours on end willing it to ring. I was exhausted and slept during the day most of the time.

No one was allowed to come to my apartment without calling first. When that doorbell rang and I wasn't expecting it to, I would pray over and over as fast as I could, that on the other side would not be Army Chaplins coming to make my worst fears come true. The rest of the day I would be exhausted from the mountain of anxiety that plagued me for only a few seconds.

When I got a letter in the mail, everything dropped to the floor and I would rip it open and read it as fast as I could. Then I would sit in silence reflecting on the day he would come home, then read the letter again. The letter would be in my pocket or beside the bed for days.

The show picks at all these old wounds, which are 4 years old. I will carry these wounds with me for the rest of my life, but he is home for good and I will never have to live through that again. To the thousands of people who have gone through or are going through this, I understand.

Sometimes I question, why do I watch this show if it brings up old emotions. In a way it helps me to work through some of these thoughts. It is a part of my life, and while it wasn't the fondest of times, I wouldn't want to forget it for anything. On with the show.